Righty Tighty: Lefty omg, have you been watching the alt left networks like CNN, ABC, MSNBC, CBS, DUM, ASS, or any other alt left comedy shows? CDC is saying it’s spreading the NNI or Negative Nancy Infection. Symptoms include crying fits, butthurtedness, retardedness, hate mongering, labeling, protesting, and late stage rioting.
Lefty Loosey: *Crying sound* *Sniffle* I havn’t noticed any of those symptoms and I just got done streaming Bill Maher and John Oliver on HBO.
Righty Tighty: *Thinking* (Oh Shit, that’s the first, 2nd, and 3rd symptoms for sure)
Lefty Loosey: WHY THE FUCK IS THE CDC ANNOUNCING THESE BULLSHIT LIES, I BET THEY’RE A BUNCH OF WHITE PRIVILEGED FUCKS WHO VOTED FOR THAT RACIST TRUMP.
Righty Tighty: *Thinking* (Oh Shit, that’s the 4th and 5th symptoms for sure)
Lefty Loosey: THAT’S IT! I’M MAKING A FUCK THE RACIST CDC SIGN AND GOING DOWNTOWN TO PROTEST!
Righty Tighty: *Thinking* (Oh Shit, that’s the 6th symptom for sure)
Lefty Loosey: BLOOD WILL FLOW IN THE STREETS! THERE WILL BE CASUALTIES ON BOTH SIDES!! IT’S TIME TO REVOLT AGAINST THE RIGGED SYSTEM!!
Righty Tighty: CDC, we’re gonna need a hazmat team downtown stat…